25th
When Did People Get Above Saying Hello?
wow west Philadelphia sounds rough. Nothing like that happens in bel air…[Asks why don’t people say hello back to me on the street]I’ll tell you why.
In West Philadelphia, if a man said “Hello” to me and I said “Hello” back, he often took it as an invitation to ask for my number or ask for sexual favors. You wouldn’t do that, obviously, but if women are avoiding you, that’s probably why: they don’t want to be harassed by the Random Street Guy. They’re trying to avoid trouble, as sad as that is.
To be honest, if I were passing a male stranger on a lonely street and he said “Hello” to me, I’d probably turn away or pretend to not hear. You just don’t want to engage a guy with no witnesses on the street. Maybe I’m oversensitive since I was followed home by a stranger who threatened to sexually assault me. Maybe not. My guess is many women do the same thing.
…
Maybe it really depends on where you live. But please don’t interpret it as a “rudeness” thing. If it’s a young woman, it might be a “please don’t rape me” thing.
Really? This is America now? A simple hello is automatically translated to number requests and sexual invitations? Trust, as a woman, I’ve found myself in possible crappy situations. Jessica points out this is probably “where you live” thing, and I will have to agree with her. If you catch me on the Monon or walking around downtown Indy, the least you can get from me is a smile! It’s a lovely lil thing called Hoosier Hospitality. But I do this wherever I am - Indy, Atlanta, Chicago, NY…
A devil’s advocate question…if a woman says hello - are you more willing to respond?
Well, seeing as how in West Philly I’ve been called a “white bitch” and followed home after saying hello back to random strangers who think this means they can ask for my number… seeing as I’ve been followed by men in cars who ask me to “get in” after I smile back at them…
I’m not going to feel bad about not always saying “Hello” back out of hospitality. Women are so often pressured to be nice, to not make a fuss, to not raise hell. I usually judge the situation and assess from there.
Brooklyn/NYC does seem to be better than West Philadelphia in this regard. So far people do seem to say “Hello” or “Good morning” and mean it. Also, you’re far less likely to be on the street alone with someone, so if anything escalates it’s not a big deal.
If a woman says hello, I am more likely to respond, because she’s less likely to want to sexually harass me. Oh noes, double standard! Well, if men on the street didn’t act awful, I wouldn’t have to apply it.
One note: I am from the South, and in my small Texas hometown a “Hello” was usually not an invitation for bad stuff to happen. Walking home in West Philadelphia, it often was. Geography. Petty crime is seriously on the rise in W. Philly so that may explain the whole bugshit-crazy-strangers phenomenon. God, sometimes I miss Texas.
I feel like I have this argument with people about once a month on my Tumblr. Why are people so unwilling to believe that street sexual harassment exists?